luckenbach
I joked with my dad today that "He doesn't believe in true love" while watching football. Reminding me that my favorite player, who I jest at being my future husband, has been married for six years. "People change Dad!!! Life is weird!!"
That joke couldn't be further from the truth. The love my parents have for each other is some of the most admirable in my life, through alcohol and addiction they persist beautifully...
You don't expect your troubled childhood to apologize in your 30s. Blindsided...
"Are you doing okay?"
Yeah I'm fine Dad.
"But like, really okay? You're life has been so rough. You've seen more pain and death, you're a good person, you deserve more than the world has ever given you. It makes me feel like I should be a better father..."
For the first time in years he didn't judge my smoking habit... I felt like I couldn't do anything but curl up next to him, gripping to his arm as the niners fell for a dipshit cadence. Just clinging to my dad, 32 years old hounding the comfort and warmth reserved for the little girl I never got to be.
"You deserve people who love you right..."
Of course people love me right, for the first time in decades I feel like a princess. A warm blanket of pot roast and pie, the safety of the loving hierophant... How could I ever deserve more